


Fumbling

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Fluff, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Gen, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, POV Sokka (Avatar), POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar)-centric, i love them your honor, no beta reader we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26613130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ‘For fuck’s sake, didn’t I say to just stop?’ Sokka’s throat felt dry.Shit.
Relationships: Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 291





	Fumbling

**Author's Note:**

> tw: panic attacks
> 
> this may or may not be based on an irl experience

Sokka fumbled with his keys at the front door, wiping his shoes on the welcome mat. The tips of his fingers were numb with cold, his breath frosting in the air.

Zuko should’ve been home by now. Maybe he was working late again. Although he _should have_ texted. He always texted Sokka if he was going to be late. Maybe-

‘Okay, Sokka,’ he muttered to himself, ‘Stop that now.’

His phone buzzed again. _Must be Teo._

‘Ah, this is the one.’ Sokka held up the key in way too much triumph than was necessary.

They were working on a new combustion engine (affectionately nicknamed ‘Iron Man’ by Teo, definitely not Sokka, why would he pick such a nerd-ass name?), and after running into more problems than making actual progress, Sokka decided to call it a night.

He had left Teo still tinkering away, promising to show up early in the morning

Never mind the fact that he had _personally_ promised the bosses that the engine would be finished by the next three weeks, and sure. they had made progress but it was not even close to finished, and they were running out of time-

‘For fuck’s sake, didn’t I say to just stop?’ Sokka’s throat felt dry.

Shit.

The key finally _(fucking finally)_ turned in the lock.

He dropped his bags next to the door. His mind was starting to get fuzzy again.

_Fuck._

Druk stalked up to him, curling around his ankles.

Sokka stood there for a few seconds, letting Druk wrap himself around him. His fingers were starting to prickle, like pins and needles.

He needed a shower.

Sokka walked into the kitchen, Druk miaowing indignantly behind him. The cat was even more of an attention whore than him, Sokka smiled as the cat followed him. No wonder Zuko adopted him.

He filled up Druk’s bowl, ignoring the stiffness in his shoulders.

The russet cat yowled at him.

‘Shut up, Druk, you’re gonna give me a headache.’ Sokka mumbled without any feeling.

‘Here you go, dumbass.’ He shook the bowl at him before setting it down.

Druk miaowed up at him once, then proceeded to inhale the cat food like his life depended on it.

Sokka leaned against the counter, opening up his phone. Sure enough, it was a message from Teo.

He’d check it later. He really needed a shower before-

Well, before.

Sokka made his way to the bathroom, untying his hair and taking off his shirt on the way. He turned on the shower, letting the bathroom fill up with steam while he undressed.

He looked at himself in the mirror, taking some shaky breaths. He looked paler than usual, even though his nose should’ve been red from the cold.

Sokka’s fingers were still prickling, and his shoulders were hurting more by the second. He waved one hand in front of his face, as if to physically push away any more thoughts about the stupid combustion engine.

He would think about it tomorrow.

Sokka pressed his forehead against the cool sink, taking another breath.

_Easier said than done._

He stepped into the shower, sighing in relief as the hot water hit his body.

Sokka’s eyes closed. Maybe later he would make some popcorn, watch some documentaries. He would have to call Zuko again, though. It was getting late, even for him.

‘Sokka?’

Sokka shot up, realising that he was on the floor, warm water washing all over him.

In an instant, everything came flooding back.

‘U-Uhm?’ His voice quavered. ‘Zuko?’

‘Yeah, it’s me.’ Zuko sounded worried. He definitely hadn’t missed the shake in Sokka’s voice. ‘You okay in there?’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Sokka cleared his throat, forcing a smile. He peeked out from behind the shower. ‘Just taking a shower. I spent too much time in the cold today.’

‘Okay.’ Zuko definitely wasn’t believing him. ‘Sorry I didn’t call, I got stuck in a meeting and couldn’t get to my phone.’

Sokka shook his head, spraying water at his boyfriend. ‘It’s okay, I just got home anyway.’

‘I’m watching _Shawshank_ , you coming?’

‘Yeah, gimme two minutes.’ Sokka smiled unconvincingly. ‘I’ll be out in a sec.’

Zuko lingered at the door, his hand still on the handle. ‘Okay.’ He shut the door and walked away.

Fuck, he definitely knew something was wrong.

Sokka stumbled out of the shower, snatching up a towel. His throat was getting dry again.

‘Fuck,’ He clenched his hands, which were starting to shake. ‘Nothing’s wrong. _Calm down._ ’

Sokka quickly dressed, grabbing an old sweater of Zuko’s.

One last glance in the mirror, and he looked pretty okay.

Ah, who was he kidding.

Sokka took one last breath, hating how hard it was getting to do so.

Zuko was stretched out on the sofa when Sokka came in, one hand in Druk’s fur, stroking slowly. He smiled up at him, eyes softening.

Sokka smiled back, forgetting for a second about his shaking hands in his pockets.

‘Long day?’

Zuko yawned. ‘Not as long as some, but, yeah.’

‘Dude, where’s the popcorn?’ Sokka raised an eyebrow at him.

‘Uhm…’ Zuko’s smile turned sheepish. ‘In the microwave?’

Sokka glanced over at the microwave, which was off.

‘You didn’t make the popcorn.’

‘I did not.’

‘Why do I put up with you.’ Sokka said to himself, moving to the kitchen and grabbing the popcorn.

‘Because you love me?’ Zuko offered from the sofa, stretching his head up to give Sokka another smile.

‘Yeah, I do.’ Sokka grabbed a bowl from above him. ‘I wont give you any.’

‘Yes, you will.’

‘Yes, I will.’

Zuko smirked and turned his attention back to the TV, where the movie had already begun.

Sokka turned back to the popcorn, and his elbow hit something. He whipped his head back to see the bowl shatter into a thousand pieces.

‘Sokka?!’ Zuko called.

He heard the movie stop. ‘No, stay there!’ He called back. 

Fuck, he was so stupid.

‘Keep a hold on Druk, okay?’ Sokka knelt down to pick up the pieces. ‘I just dropped the bowl, I’m okay.’

Silence. 

‘Fuck, fuck, _fuck,_ ’ Sokka whispered to himself raggedly. ‘I’m such an idiot.’

He dumped the bowl pieces in the trash, breathing heavily.

Sokka’s vision was swimming. He gripped the counter in an effort to stay grounded. God, his throat was so dry.

His heart pounded in his ears. His hands were so sweaty, they were slipping off the counter.

He gulped at empty air, nails scrabbling for hold. Fuck, he couldn’t _breathe_ , fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck-_

‘Sokka, listen to me.’

Zuko’s voice. Soft. Calm. There was a hand on his back. Zuko’s hand.

Fuck, he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t-

‘Sokka, we’re gonna sit down here, ok?’

Hands on his sides. A clear thought surfaced.

_Sitting down. Ok, I can do that._

He let the hands (Zuko’s hands, _Zuko’s_ ) guide him down.

The cabinet was hard against his back.

His hands were shaking.

Sokka’s vision came back into focus. 

Zuko was kneeling in front of him, eyebrows furrowed and mouth turned downwards. His fists were clenched.

‘Come back to me.’ Zuko said softly.

Sokka blinked at him. His throat was sealing up.

Fuck.

He screwed his eyes shut.

‘Sokka, please, I need you to open your eyes for me.’

Zuko looked like he was in pain.

‘I’m… sorry,’ Sokka croaked out. God, he hated how his voice sounded.

‘No, don’t speak.’ Zuko inched closer. ‘Just try to breathe.’

Sokka opened his mouth, but-

‘I…can’t, I-,’

Zuko sat down next to him, bumping their shoulders together.

‘Try to match your breathing with mine, okay?’

Sokka nodded, clenching his hands again.

‘No, I-’ Zuko took one of Sokka’s hands in both of his own. He glanced at him. ‘Is this okay? Do you want me to let go?’

Sokka shook his head, and Zuko slowly unclenched his hand, lacing them through his.

‘Is this okay?’

Sokka nodded.

‘Okay, now just breathe.’

Zuko fell silent next to him, taking deep breaths in contrast to his shallow, quick ones.

Sokka lost track of how long they sat there, shoulder to shoulder, his hand in Zuko’s. His boyfriend’s breaths never changed, just slow, and deep.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Sokka let out a breath. Then another. And another.

He could breathe again.

‘Sokka?’

He looked over at Zuko. He breathed again, deeper.

‘Yeah, I’m okay.’

‘Thank god.’ Zuko smiled shakily. ‘You scared the shit out of me.’

Sokka felt his cheeks heat up. ‘Sorry.’

‘No, no, it’s not your fault.’ Zuko said hurriedly, ‘I knew there was something wrong, I should’ve-’

Sokka cut him off with a look. ‘Thank you.’

Zuko smiled, less shakily this time. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘Not right now.’

Zuko frowned. ‘But-‘

‘I promise we will,’ Sokka touched his forehead to Zuko’s shoulder, breathing him in, smelling the familiar soap. ‘But not right now.’

‘You promise.’

‘Yes, I do.’

Sokka took another deep breath. ‘I’m just…tired. I promise we’ll talk about it.’

‘You wanna watch the movie, then?’

Sokka hummed in agreement. ‘Yeah.’

‘Okay.’

Zuko curled an arm around his waist, kissing his forehead. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

**Author's Note:**

> why?  
> because sokka is not a vessel for other people's problems. he is a three-dimensional person and has his own insecurities he doesnt exist to solve everyone's problems.
> 
> (also i still suck at endings)  
> tumblr: clutter_and_else


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